Category: Article
The Necessity of Darkness
I used to read Ramona the Pest to my daughter. We likely read it 7 or 8 times when she was in kindergarten. As soon as we would finish, she would want to begin again. And so we did. I loved revisiting these stories from my youth. And seeing the words, hearing the language as an…
The Rapture of Being Alive
It seems hard to believe, but one of the best selling Zen books for all time, Zen Mind, Beginners Mind, was published over 50 years ago. There is a chapter on Excitement, where Suzuki Roshi admonishes that Zen is not some kind of excitement but concentration on our everyday routines: “If we become interested in some…
Layers of Listening
Many of us spend the majority of our days in conversations of one kind or another. This is particularly true for coaches, therapists, and other practitioners who spend their time supporting others’ development. Bringing greater mindfulness to how we approach conversations with anyone—our clients, colleagues, partners, children, friends, and others—holds the potential to make these…
Making Room for Integration
This article first appeared on the Mindful Leader blog in September 2021. “Along with all the growth and healing, remember to give yourself time for integration, which is a fancy word for ‘allowing sh*t to settle.’ It looks like doing nothing. This nothing is necessary.” – Emily McDowell Has it ever happened to you? You’ve been…
What Lies Within Us
“You understand so little of what is around you because you do not use what is within you.” – Hildegard von Bingen, c. 1151 AD I write because I am curious about the destiny and righteousness of women who have been successful and celebrated widely, but also because I am curious about those who have…
Self-unification in a divided world
“In order to truly change, we have to let go of who we think we are. Early in life we had to form the ego, or the ‘little self,’ in order to protect our true self. Later in life, the way we originally protected ourselves begins to endanger the presence of our Self. What protected…
Focusing and Integral Coaching Webinar
Focusing Resources founder Ann Weiser Cornell and New Ventures West Managing Partner Cynthia Luna recently hosted an exploration of what it means to know you have everything you need to live from wholeness. Learn how Focusing and Integral Coaching compliment one another, and learn about opportunities to experience both methodologies more deeply.
Finding clarity in times of transition
Reflecting back over the last 2-3 years, with so much unpredictability, change, obstacles, and discouragement, what has kept you moving forward? For many, the pandemic and other recent upheavals have put us in more immediate contact with what is essential. Of course, there have been countless immediate concerns to address. But in our work, we’ve…
“It” vs. “You”: A Field Experiment
How many times have you heard this: “kids, don’t try this at home”? But here’s one you might want to try. Zero cost and an ROI that might surprise you. I got the idea from my son. On occasions, after I had done something for him, he would say, “I appreciate you.” I would not…
Replenishment, Starting Close In
This article was originally published on the Mindful Leader blog in August 2022 “I have nothing left.” It’s a sentiment that’s been in our shared consciousness for a long time, and recently I’ve started to hear folks actually name it. Maybe you have too. World events have taken their toll, and many of us find…
Courage v. Bravery
Bravery and courage are cousins often confused as twins. While they share DNA of context containing an element of fear, upon examination they are quite different.
What’s the Difference Between Self-Improvement and Self-Development?
This article was originally published on the Mindful Leader blog in May 2022. It has several questions for reflection in italics. In these places, you’re invited to pause, feel into your response, and perhaps explore a bit with some notes or journaling. “To be purposeful is not to be goal oriented, but to seek to…
Changing and Staying the Same are the Exact Same Process
Cyd is the person in the office who is always fixing everything: the broken printer, the scheduling snafu, the delivery gone awry. They see things that are invisible to most: the bump in the ceiling that could become a leak; the fact that you’re halfway through the second-to-last jug of water and haven’t placed the…
How Can We Be Good Ancestors?
I just finished the book The Good Ancestor- A Radical Prescription for Long-Term Thinking by Roman Krznaric, a philosopher who writes about the power of ideas to change the world. In this excellent review of the book, published in The Guardian in July 2020, the journalist Andrew Anthony makes salient the point that I too…
I Am Not Me Without You
This post was originally published on the Mindful Leader blog in January 2022. A few weeks ago I had the privilege of witnessing the certification of a new group of Integral Coaches: a powerful rite of passage that is the culmination of a year of hard work, dedicated practice, and profound growth. At the close…
The space we need to grow
This article was originally published on the Mindful Leader blog in July 2020. When folks are considering Integral Coach training, they often bring very reasonable questions like: These are all perfectly understandable scenarios, which is why it can be surprising to learn that our answer to each of these questions is “no.” We require students…
The Necessity and Challenge of Being ‘Onto Ourselves’
This article was originally published on the Mindful Leader blog in June of 2020. A couple of weeks ago I participated in the certification process for a cohort of students finishing the Professional Coaching Course. A phrase I heard used in celebration again and again was, “you are onto yourself.” It’s a concept that comes…
Beauty and Wonder: An Invitation into Experience
Do this, if you would: Google “René Magritte, Clairvoyance.” Bring up an image of the painting.* Sit with it for 30 seconds, one minute, two minutes. Five. Receive it through your heart. Notice its effects on your body. Analyze it with your mind (you probably started doing that the second you saw it. We can’t…
Ten Seconds of Spaciousness
10 seconds. That was all my client needed to hear to start shifting her mindset and easing her doubts and worries. Her social conditioning did not allow her to take time for herself or do something that was not obviously attached to an accomplishment or for the benefit of others. Just 10 seconds gave her…
Coregulation: the Heart of Skillful Response
This article first appeared in the Mindful Leader blog in December 2020. “If you want to improve the world, start by helping people feel safer.” —Stephen Porges Can you recall a moment in your life when you felt truly supported? Perhaps it was a session with a therapist, bodyworker, coach, or teacher. Maybe it was…