Category: Article
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Transcending Unconscious Stories
It was one of these weeks where things were quickly going downhill. Or so it seemed. My partner was away for work. My dog got diarrhea. My daughter got the flu. My network of support was on vacation… and so on. I could see that I was looking outside myself, trying to identify the perpetrator…
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Of Not Knowing
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Is Anyone Listening?
It’s amazing how often we assume our requests can be heard while ignoring the capacity of others to listen to what we’re asking. Some examples: You made a request by email If your recipient didn’t read it, didn’t see it, or is overwhelmed by emails and messages, as so many people are, you probably don’t have…
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Integrating Painful Feelings
What are you doing with your feelings? Chances are, not enough! We’re all trained by our culture and family of origin to become “thinking” and “doing” machines and to forget about our feelings as much as possible. It starts early. As young children, we’re told that we don’t need to feel afraid, that it’s not…
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Integrating What Is Broken in Us
We are all broken. In some circles, this is a radical thing to say (“Hey, some of us are doing just fine, thank you!”); for others, it’s a downer (“That’s a pretty negative view of people”). But for me, this is an uplifting truth and a fundamental tenant for coaching. For most of my youth,…
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The Importance of Self-Development in a Breaking World
I admit it: even as an Integral Coach and the person at NVW most responsible for spreading the word about our work, I’ve had moments in recent months when I’ve second guessed the point of it all. With so much of the world in dire emergency, it’s to the point that I’m literally forgetting to…
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Professional Coaching Certification as a Pilgrimage
I recently spent some time in northern Spain walking the ancient Camino de Santiago (The Way of Saint James). The Camino is a pilgrimage that has been walked for hundreds of years by people with a wide range of motivations from spiritual, to life transitions, to wanting a cultural experience. At the essence, all pilgrims…
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Balancing Judgement and Mercy
Whatever we say we’re most committed to, a great many of us live as if judgement were the primary human value, judging ourselves mercilessly and without respite. And, when we live in the stream of harsh judgement, no effort is enough, no achievement worth much, and our efforts to help seem to us nothing but disguised…
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Coaching Certification: Are Shorter Programs Better?
As the Director of Enrollment at New Ventures West, I enjoy hearing about the different metrics that potential students use to compare our coaching certification program to other coaching certification programs. The length of coaching certification programs sometimes comes under scrutiny. There are coaching certification programs that offer “certifications” after just a day, or a…
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The Enneagram Prison Project and Integral Coaching
NVW founder James Flaherty was recently interviewed about his work with the Enneagram Prison Project as part of the Shift Network’s 2017 Enneagram Global Summit. He was joined in the session by EPP founder Susan Olesek and program ambassador Alex Senegal. Inspiring, informative, and deeply moving, this conversation gets to the core of what can…
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Beyond Good Questions: How the Integral Coaching Method is Different
The Integral Coaching method asks questions, of course. We start with a lengthy intake conversation intended to give us a picture of our client’s world. We ask the client their thoughts and feelings about the issue they’ve brought and what they have tried by way of resolving it. We also make sure to inquire into…
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Choosing a Coach Training Program
My path into a coach training program Eight years ago I found myself entering a life transition. Up to this point I was making a living as a technical consultant, working just enough to stay financially stable, while I devoted the majority of my time to nonprofit work. Specifically, I was part of organizations that worked…
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Become a Life Coach and an Integral Coach
As Director of Enrollment at New Ventures West, a question I am often asked is, “Is this a training to become a life coach or is it a training to become an executive coach?” My answer is “yes … and no.” Many people approach our training with the intention to become a life coach or…
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Work-Life Balance: Setting Boundaries from Within
Work-life balance and boundaries In a world that’s becoming faster paced by the minute, work-life balance is a hot topic. In particular, we talk a lot about boundaries: recognizing we need them, developing the competency to assert them (usually by saying “no”), and vigilantly maintaining them so that we’re not overextending and neglecting what is…
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How We Make Humans Into Monsters
As our culture becomes more polarized, it becomes more tempting to label those who disagree with us as “monsters.” But what do we really mean when we say someone is being monstrous? And how willing are we to see our own monstrous tendencies? To explore this, I’m going to go where monsters originally came from:…
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We Have to Find a Way to Love Our Brokenness
We have to find a way to love our brokenness No, not loving ourselves in spite of our failings But loving the brokenness itself We have to love all the ways we’re late And all the ways we missed the point We have to love that we were scared And that we were ashamed to say it We have to love that…
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Do One Thing
In the days since the US presidential election, I’ve been overwhelmed by emotions and information. My social media feeds are filled with calls to action—invitations to meet, make phone calls, donate money, write postcards, march in the streets. Others’ words have comforted and challenged and saddened and filled me, yet I have had difficulty finding…
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Bringing Emotional Intelligence into Balance
There is no denying that the world could use a booster shot of Emotional Intelligence (EQ): greater ability to read the emotional states of others, more awareness of our own inner states and how our behavior is viewed by and affects others, more emotional fluidity… Please, bring it on! Of course, the way things seem…
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Bringing the Wisdom of the Heart into Coaching
James was interviewed recently by Joel Monk, co-founder of Coaches Rising. This interview one of a series leading up to the Coaches Rising Summit, a month-long online seminar featuring many lumiaries in the coaching field including Otto Scharmer, Jennifer Garvey Berger, Richard Strozzi-Heckler, James, and others. This half-hour interview covers: Why relating to our clients as…
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The Joy of Direct Experience
I was taking advantage of the long summer days to catch up on some much-needed gardening when I found the book. The Cichlid Aquarium had been in our garage since my husband and I had moved in 13 years ago, weathering all the extremes Michigan could conjure, including two of the worst Midwestern winters on record. Yet,…