Distinctions

Mostly this process is a good thing for us, as it makes it easier for us to readily replicate recurring actions (another name for what we’re talking about here is “learning”), like making a cup of tea, but it does make it difficult for us to come to situations freshly.

Beside the biological challenge to renewing our life, there’s the social dimension. People around us expect particular behavior from us and reinforce their expectations with signals small and large—from raising eyebrows to major shunning, not talking to us or not including us in any way in their lives.

What would you add to this list?

This is all to say, it’s a nontrivial matter to come freshly to our lives. Renewing our lives takes—well, what would you say?

Finding your own way will work best, of course, and at the same time I can wholeheartedly recommend this process—it’s one that you can periodically review and simultaneously employ every day.

Part One

Establish for yourself what makes renewing your life important. No one else can do this for you; life events can’t force it.

Here are some questions to support your inquiry.

• What values do I want to have central in my life now?
• What commitments are most important to me right now?
• Which relationships do I want to dedicate myself to now?
• What possibility or vision for my life is it time to bring forward now?
• And?

Part Two

Life is not a matter of endless growth: we cannot successfully keep endlessly adding to our lives. You’ve noticed this—the question is will you act on it?

• What habit(s) is it time to let go of (these are habits of behavior and ways of thinking and talking)?
• What activities am I ready to release?
• Which resources am I my ready to reallocate (including time, money, energy, attention and so on)?
• Which relationships no longer match my commitments, values, ambitions and dreams?
• And?

Part Three

Okay, so far we’ve explored our deep motivation for renewal and looked at what it will take to open up space for it to happen. Next is initiating and sustaining these three activities (or their equivalent):

1. Asking ourselves two or three questions each day so we can discern if we are staying true to what we established in Parts One and Two.
2. Staying in continual conversation with others about how life is showing up differently. This is an intentional direction of attending to what is novel in what we talk about instead of our usual way, which is to keep confirming what we already know or have predicted.
3. Meditating (for at least 30 minutes each day) in a way that we don’t remember what happened, anticipate what will happen, or think about what is happening now. And move our attention down into our hearts from where it usually is (right behind our eyes) and know our heart as the organ and the center of our awareness. (Much more on this method in Loch Kelley’s book, Shift into Freedom).

What’s the alternative to regularly renewing/refreshing our life? I think it’s becoming stale, mechanical, robotic—stuck in complaining or in cheerleading or in some other, non-live mode. Unfortunately we can be at home/comfortable in rote behavior—unfortunate because living that way severely constricts

• the contribution we can make,
• our connection and support of others,
• the unbound unborn joy of simply and purely being alive.

What follows in the rest of this issue—the book review, poems and practice of the quarter—can support you in your dedicated efforts.

Take care of yourself.

Sending love,

During this period of time:

1. In what ways was my life fresh, new, vital? What brought that about (especially if I didn’t like what was happening)?
2. In what ways was my life rote, mechanical, stale? What were the causes and conditions of that (especially if I had been looking forward to what was going to happen, or if I historically would have enjoyed what happened)?
3. How well did I do in acting from who/what is essentially important for me now? What supported or got in the way of that?
4. What habit, behavior, relationship or use of resources did I shift or let go of? Upon what basis did I do that?
5. What will I take up or put down in the next period of observation from what I learned here?

From Ellen Bass

To love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you’ve held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.

my mind is

e.e. cummings

my mind is
a big hunk of irrevocable nothing which touch and
taste and smell and hearing and sight keep hitting and
chipping with sharp fatal tools
in an agony of sensual chisels i perform squirms of
chrome and execute strides of cobalt
nevertheless i
feel that i cleverly am being altered that i slightly am
becoming something a little different, in fact
myself
hereupon helpless i utter lilac shrieks and scarlet
bellowings.

Dear friends,

We’ve been reflecting quite a bit lately on what makes New Ventures West unique from other coach training programs. What is that knowing, that depth, that particular quality of presence that radiates from PCC graduates, and that we recognize in one another? We know it has to do with the rigor and intimacy of the course itself and the ongoing self-generation that happens afterward. We know it is thanks to the guidance of our world-class faculty. We know it’s the breadth of experience that comes from cultivating our coaching and training for three decades. We feel the truth of our collective commitment to ease suffering and be of service in the world. Woven together, what is the picture that emerges? What is that unifying quality that makes NVW a school like no other? What would you say?

Whatever you’re saying, however you’re saying it, please keep it up. Though we’re constantly exploring different channels to make it easier for the right people to discover us, you—our graduates—are the force that allows the power of Integral Coaching to reach those who need it. Thank you.

The Year Launch Teleclass begins on February 20. If you couldn’t make it to the in-person workshop in January, there’s still a chance to join James and your fellow graduates for a deep exploration of how to stay present and of service in our tumultuous times—and renew your certification for the coming year. Learn more here.

We sincerely hope that 2018 is off to a beautiful start for you.

Love,

Sahar Azarabadi & Adam Klein

Congratulations and welcome to our new graduates!

The wonderful graduates and faculty of PCC “S” Singapore celebrating the end of their year. Congratulations, friends!