Distinctions

A central tenet of Buddhism is that all experience comes with a judgment attached: we like it, we don’t like it, or we don’t feel one way or the other about it.

I once went in to my Buddhist teacher and told him after hearing this teaching that I had been watching my experience during sitting and found a part of me that was not drawn into liking / not liking / being neutral.

He spontaneously broke into uproarious laughter and said, “I’m sure you liked that.” Yeah, so maybe no escape.

Last week during our Book Study Group teleclass with Jett Psaris, the author of the extraordinary book Hidden Blessings : Midlife Crisis as a Spiritual Awakening (the Book of the Quarter reviewed in this issue), I saw / felt / knew the boundaries of my judgments.

Perhaps as I describe mine you can find yours.

Jett has a section in her book inviting us to receive physical symptoms as a message about what is happening or necessary or currently neglected in our soul. She used what I took to be a fierce example: someone with Alzheimer’s.

I asked her about it and she said her mother had Alzheimer’s for the last 12 years of her life, and she considers herself someone very familiar with the territory.

Instead of trying to bring her mother back to the “real world,” she joined her mother in the reality that her consciousness was bringing forth. Jett unconditionally radically embraced, accepted and stepped into her mother’s reality and said she could meet her there.

Wow. At that moment, I recognized cognitively, emotionally and somatically that I had a very narrow space in which to meet reality—it had to fit into my culturally socialized notions of what was good, healthy, life-giving, normal. Anything not within that space was to be fought with, complained about, rejected, ignored.

I saw how centrally I’d placed my judgment of what should be happening. I definitely knew best, and life, the universe, divine intelligence, Buddha nature were making a mistake.

Huge arrogance covering up the fear of helplessness.

My judgment also separated me out from the process of life: I was not life showing up at a particular place but someone outside of it who could pass judgment that was valid because it felt that way and because almost everybody I knew would agree with me.

I’m left wondering how much I can let go and accept / love what’s occurring with the deep faith that it’s a call to develop more, let go of my understanding, stay open to what might unfold instead of judging, separating, trying to get away and protect.

Can you sense, feel the reality that you are trying to maintain by the judgments you make?

Yes, it’s stepping outside of conventional wisdom, what everyone knows, what makes sense.

What happens when we do that?

Here‘s the nearly unbelievable story of a friend who did that in the midst of a tragic event.

What is possible for you?

Do you want to find out?

This issue’s poems, book review and practice can help you.

Take care of yourself.

Love,

• What decisive judgments did you make about what was good, worthy, acceptable? Or the opposite: what was bad, worthless, to be rejected? (Please don’t be fooled by the notion that you are not making any judgments; rather, please uncover them with courage and candor and a willingness to be startled or embarrassed.)
• What were you attempting to hold onto, move towards in making these judgments? Or, alternately, what were you trying to avoid, move away from?
• What did you close down by making these judgments (of whatever sort)? What were you holding onto?
• What can you do during this next period of time to release your judgments as you become aware of them and fully enter into the mystery of what’s unfolding?

from Remembrance

Arthur Rimbaud, translated by Paul Schmidt

II

Watch! This wet square of stream moves in soft swirls,
In endless glassy gold pavilioning its bed;
Like willow trees where birds hop unhindered
Are the green gauzy dresses of the little girls.

Flowers brighter than coin, warm yellow eyes
That trouble waters—O Wife, your conjugal love!—
The rosy Sun at noon burns sullenly above
This dark mirror, reflected through hazy skies.

Hear How It Bellows

Arthur Rimbaud, translated by Paul Schmidt

Hear how it bellows
Beneath the acacias
In April, the green
Branch of the vine!

In a cleansing cloud
To Phoebe! See them nod
And turn a head
Like saints of old …

Far from shining stones
On capes, from bright roofs,
Dear Ancients desire
This sullen syrup …

Never festive, not
Astral, the misty
Breath of this
Nocturnal scene.

Yet still they stay
… Germany, Sicily,
In this sad pale
Mist, and justly.

City

Arthur Rimbaud, translated by Paul Schmidt

I am a temporary and not at all disconnected citizen
Of a metropolis considered modern because all known taste has been eluded
In the furnishings and the outsides of the houses,
As well as in the plan of the city.
Here you will find no trace of a single monument to superstition.
Morals and language have been reduced
To their simplest expression, that is all!
These millions of people with no need to know each other
Lay down so equally the path of education, of trade and old age,
That the course of life is probably several times shorter
Than anything a crazy statistic sets up for people on the continent.
And from my window, what original specters roll
Through this thick eternal smoke—
Our Crowded Shade, our Midsummer Night!
Latter-day Erinys fly before this cottage
Which is my country and the depth of my heart,
Because everything here looks like this:
Dry-eyed Death, our diligent daughter and servant,
A hopeless Love and a pretty Crime wailing in the mud of the road.

Letter from the Graduate Directors

Dear graduates,

This quarter we welcome over 80 new Integral Coaches from around the world into our graduate community—our biggest crop in quite some time! It’s always a joy to add new voices, perspectives, experiences, and wisdom to to the group. As you know, our training is not just about learning to coach, but about coming home to yourself. As such, many of us find ourselves in surprising places as we connect more deeply to our voice and vocation during and after the PCC. Our global community is like a prism, forever refracting brighter and brighter light into new shapes and colors.

You, our graduates, continue to be the primary way new students hear about us. Your way of being serves as a beacon for others wanting to live lives of meaning and service. Please continue to tell others—through your words and your way of being—about what becomes possible when we engage the work of Integral Coaching.

We’re also thrilled about our new program Masterful Conversations. For those of you who were craving more on this topic—particularly back when it was an optional early-morning module during session 2 (or before that, when it wasn’t part of the curriculum at all!)—will find this course especially fulfilling.

Finally, if you’ve written anything recently about mindfulness, the Enneagram, Integral Theory, or any other topics that are touched on in the PCC, we’d be happy to feature you as a guest author on our blog. Send submissions to [email protected].

Enjoy your spring.

With love,

Love,

Adam Klein and Sahar Azarabadi

Grad News

The graduates of Sarita’s recent Towards Mastery program in Washington DC are clearly ready to take on the world. Congrats, friends! Go forth and be masterful.

The happy graduates of Formation des Coachs Professionnels “H” in Montreal this April