Tag: Development
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How Awe Affects Us
At the University of California, Berkeley, participants in a study were asked to stand and look at the tallest grove of hardwood trees in North America for one minute. Other participants were invited to gaze upon the facade of a science building for the same amount of time. At the end of the 60 seconds,…
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Right-Sizing Yourself
You probably have no idea of the actual scale of your presence in the world. Under-sizing: I’m so small They’ll never take any notice I can’t do anything Who cares what I see and know? Better not to cause any ripples Nobody listens, why would they? Who, little me? Over-sizing: I’m so important It’s all…
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Transparency
I’m a little sad most of the time and I’m not up to much of anything. Great conversation starter, huh? But if I’m honest, that’s my in-the-moment answer to the question of how am I doing these days, and what am I up to. It’s winter, it’s dark, my body wants to hibernate, I’m tired…
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The difference between achieving goals and being fulfilled
Rather than helping clients solve problems, Integral Coaches work with them to develop a new way of being: one that has them live in ways that are more effective and useful across all areas of their life. We are interested in deepening our clients’ capacity to be self-generating and self-correcting. Another way of explaining this…
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Life as a mirror
A few weeks ago, chaos had been tracking me through my days. I felt it chugging through my veins alongside my blood cells: Urgency. Insanity. Nonsense. Annoyance. Rushing. When I get this way a particular part of me takes over: a manic, starving, prowling hyena. I am at her mercy, bending to her frightened, angry,…
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What are you steering your life by? (Part 1)
Having goals, having intentions, having plans and preferences are all well and good but, for the most part, they do not affect how we live moment to moment, day to day. In order to bring life to our intentions and aspirations we must discover what is shaping our actions, our thoughts, our speaking right now.…
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Meeting the Shadow
In Ursula Le Guin‘s stunningly beautiful novel ‘A Wizard of Earthsea’, the young wizard Ged unleashes a terrifying shadow into the world by mistake. Stunned by his power, he stands paralysed in shock while the shadow’s claws cut deep lines into his face before disappearing. From then on, he lives a haunted life, forever running from…
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Building Competence in the Integrating Stream of Development
One new concept with which we’re working now is how to build a client’s competence around integrating all aspects of her/his life as the primary way to catalyze development. Here is an example of how that might look with a client. Joan works for a high-tech company in a very competitive environment. She feels a…
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Forever Jung
Just this week I read a quote from Carl Jung that shifted my way of understanding him—and brought fresh clarity to understanding people. First, a little context: Jung’s central commitment was to the development of people and not to their individual happiness. He thought each person was called to a particular destiny, and he did…
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Inspiration
It is a wonderful experience when, as a coach, I can inspire a client or a student with an idea, a reframing of thought, or a practice that has them engage in the world more freely. This inspiration happens by way of some alchemy arising from the special relationship that exists between coach and client,…
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Keeping New Year’s Resolutions by Allowing Time for Change
As we approach 2012, the tradition of New Year’s resolutions has sprung up on the horizon. The prospect of eating healthier, being kinder to ourselves, being a better this, a better that, a fully superior being: it’s all lying in wait for us. So why is it so hard to keep and follow resolutions? Isn’t it enough…
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We can’t live like this anymore
During the 10-minute drive to work this week, I listened to a local NPR station’s daily call-in show. The topic was child abuse, and the story was based upon a recent BBC documentary and an article in The Guardian newspaper written by an American physician who works at a hospital in Houston. She has studied and thought…
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The Agony of Conscious Incompetence
I was recently introduced to a learning model that’s opened up a lot of space around my own development and my work with clients. It’s known as the four stages of competence, the stages themselves being: (1) unconscious incompetence, (2) conscious incompetence, (3) conscious competence, and (4) unconscious competence. Unconscious incompetence is when our blind…
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The Shadow of Development
Resistance–gotta love it. It’s something we all have and know, and most often do not like or appreciate. It reminds me of one of those Chinese finger traps, where you put a finger in either end of this tube, and the harder you pull to get your fingers out, the tighter it gets. It’s the…
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How is coaching distinct from therapy?
Someone asks me this question every time I do a public talk about coaching. To continue the dialogue, I’m writing this piece. As will quickly be grasped, I cannot resolve the question once and for all. That’s partly because there’s not common ground as to what would constitute a satisfactory response and also because both…
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Knowing Yourself
It’s a funny thing that—even in a class that lasts for a full year—so much gets unsaid, so much depth is left unexplored, so many stories go unrelated. In this forum though there are no such limitations, so let’s see what there is to explore. What’s the best way to get to know yourself? The…