Category: Resources
An Autumn Walk
I’m on the way in to central London this morning, a short journey from home to meet someone. I’ve left in good time, and as I step out of the door the autumn sun, reflected from the windows on the other side of the street, catches me with its warmth. I’m already heading for the…
How Awe Affects Us
At the University of California, Berkeley, participants in a study were asked to stand and look at the tallest grove of hardwood trees in North America for one minute. Other participants were invited to gaze upon the facade of a science building for the same amount of time. At the end of the 60 seconds,…
Not So Sure
It can be incredibly helpful to learn to distinguish between what happens and your assessment of it. What happens: She didn’t return my call Your assessments: I must have done something wrong She’s angry with me She hates me She’ll never forgive me I’m such a loser This relationship is over What happens can be…
Newsletter Book Review: “The Best of the Best”
In the Spring 2015 issue of Distinctions, James Flaherty reviewed The Reality of Being: The Fourth Way of Gurdjieff by Jeanne De Salzmann. James says, “[De Salzmann] lays out our human condition—our being asleep and not knowing it, our self-indulgent self-importance, our ways of living that keep us confused with open eyed honesty—and yet never…
Happiness
This article originally appeared in the Summer 2006 issue of the Distinctions newsletter. Old message, timeless wisdom. Happy reading! “All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in…
Right-Sizing Yourself
You probably have no idea of the actual scale of your presence in the world. Under-sizing: I’m so small They’ll never take any notice I can’t do anything Who cares what I see and know? Better not to cause any ripples Nobody listens, why would they? Who, little me? Over-sizing: I’m so important It’s all…
Going For It — Really
Many people think, feel, or act as if “going for it” means putting lots of attention, time and energy into getting what they want. In this way of looking at things there are two options: getting what you want or putting up with what you get. Folks are encouraged to go for it, applauded when…
Find Your People
This piece originally appeared in the Huffington Post in December 2014. Holiday time is family time. But what exactly do we mean by family? So many people live three time zones – or an ocean – away from their parents and siblings, turning travel “home” into a costly or time-sucking ordeal. Then there are the…
Is Change Really Difficult?
I suppose that the whole discipline of coaching wouldn’t exist if the assumption didn’t persist that change for us humans is quite difficult. The notion seems such common sense that many of us have never challenged it or even given it much thought. But I wonder if it’s the case? Or to be more exact,…
Transparency
I’m a little sad most of the time and I’m not up to much of anything. Great conversation starter, huh? But if I’m honest, that’s my in-the-moment answer to the question of how am I doing these days, and what am I up to. It’s winter, it’s dark, my body wants to hibernate, I’m tired…
Limitation and Infinite Possibility
As Integral Coaches, we don’t have to leave out any parts of ourselves … just as we don’t leave out any part of life in our client work. This is, of course, easier said than done since we live in culture that has strong public standards about what it is to be a “good person.”…
Freedom: Do You Really Want It?
Freedom and liberty are not the same thing (at least in this article). Liberty is the political/economic/legal structures that allow us to associate as we like, make a living as suits us, say what we want, etc. Freedom is when we act consistently with what is essential for us even in the face of uncertainty,…
Forgiven
Forgiveness. Among the most healing of all human possibilities. Today, can you start by forgiving yourself? .. for your forgetfulness, your anger, your irritability, your desire to please, your frustration, your resentment, your boredom, your rushing, your waiting, your confusion? Can you forgive yourself, please, for everything you judge so harshly about yourself? And for…
Marry Yourself
This post by NVW faculty member Marina Illich originally appeared in the Huffington Post. I don’t have enough. I can’t do enough. Indeed, I’m not good enough! Is this your mantra? I think it’s a mantra a whole lot of us intone daily, and with a frequency we barely notice. No surprise. Wherever we look,…
Studying the work of Sri Aurobindo
In the autumn issue of the Distinctions newsletter, James Flaherty takes up the topic of tuning into our inner guidance. To set the stage, he introduces the work of Sri Aurobindo. Here is an excerpt from the article, which includes a bit about this fascinating figure. Sri Aurobindo was a philosopher and spiritual teacher in…
The Model Is Not the Person: Warnings About Assessments
The following is an excerpt from James Flaherty’s upcoming book, Coaching Now. Integral coaching employs three central models. Before I begin talking about them, I’ll give you the warnings that all model-givers provide but that are often ignored. The first warning is that the model is not the person. We know this more broadly as…
How To Help
Of course you want to help. Of course you want to relieve other people of their suffering and difficulty where you can. But it’s easy to confuse what’s actually, genuinely of help with what makes you feel better. In other words, it’s easy to do what makes you at ease and then take your ease…
Uncovering Integral Leadership: Leading With Our Whole Selves
An article written by James Flaherty is featured in the September issue of HR.com’s e-publication, Leadership Excellence Essentials.
How Mindfulness Makes You Powerful
This post by faculty member Marina Illich originally appeared in the Huffington Post in July of 2014. As an executive coach and leadership consultant, I think a lot about power in the work place and beyond. What is it? Where does it come from? How does it work? Conventional thinking has us believe that power…
The difference between achieving goals and being fulfilled
Rather than helping clients solve problems, Integral Coaches work with them to develop a new way of being: one that has them live in ways that are more effective and useful across all areas of their life. We are interested in deepening our clients’ capacity to be self-generating and self-correcting. Another way of explaining this…